If I Die Young
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Sep. 2nd, 2010 | 11:31 pm
music: If I Die Young ~ The Band Perry
If I Die Young
"If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song"
Yukimura tightly gripped the starched white sheets of the hospital bed in his hand. He felt like crying. The latest news from the doctor's wasn't good. The surgery hadn't been enough to be permanent. He'd had a relapse. The doctor's said repeating the surgery would have the same results if it didn't kill him first. How could he tell Sanada this? After their loss at National's Sanada had finally confessed and Yukimura couldn't have been happier. His awkward fukubuchou was too cute sometimes when he blushed or was caught staring at Yukimura. Could Yukimura force himself to utter the words to change that happiness he had been feeling.
He rolled onto his side and pulled the pillow over his head. He didn't want to think anymore. "If I die young…" A choked sob rose from his throat, he really didn't want to think about that. It was too frightening. He thought he had forever with Sanada, his team… no family, and tennis. They would only have so long together now unless there was some sort of miracle.
He thought about his parents too, what they must be going through. What they would go through. He'd heard the nurses talking one time during his last stay when they though he'd been asleep. They said it was probably the most painful thing in the world for parents to lose a child. Parents had such high expectations for children and expected them to live far beyond their years. He'd never been close to his parents but he did love them dearly and couldn't bear doing that to them.
Slowly his mind drifted to his other family, the regulars. How could he ever leave them, he'd been so much to them and he'd been different to each of them. Sanada's lover, Yanagi's best friend, Niou's rock, Yagyuu's backbone, Marui's person to joke around with, Jackal's wall, and Akaya's inspiration, his rock, the person he wanted most to be in the world, a father, and a brother. God, Yukimura really began to cry now. Akaya, Genchirou, how could he ever leave them. The people who made up his world.
He sobbed into the mattress underneath the pillow not hearing the door silently creek open. Not hearing the chair being pulled out and sat in. He felt the large warm hands on his back and the soothing voice he both dreaded and loved to hear, whispering near his ear. "It's alright Seiichi. Let it out. Let it all go."
"Genchirou." Yukimura threw himself onto Sanada who caught him with only a little bit of fumbling. "Genchirou, oh, Genchirou." Sanada pulled him tight against his body.
"It's alright Seiichi, I already know. Your parents told me." Sanada's voice is thick and he speaks against Yukimura's throat so Yukimura can feel the rumbling of sobs that he's not letting out shaking his frame. "It'll be alright, everything is always alright."
"How can everything be alright, I'm dy-"
"Don't say that. It's not true. Everything will be all right.
"What if you're wrong?"
"I'm not wrong. I know because I love you. I'll love you forever. Things like that don't die."
"That can't change the fact that my body is dying Genchirou. Love can't reverse the effects of a disease."
"Then we'll just have to make every moment special, just in case. I think it'll be alright Seiichi, just believe."
"If I die young…" Sanada silences Yukimura with a finger and looks in his eyes. He picks Yukimura up and lays him down on the bed and covers him up and then pulling his shoes, socks, blazer, and tie off he lies down next to him and hold Yukimura tight to his chest. Yukimura reached out for his hand and held it tight. He sighed; these moments are what he would cherish the most.
A/N: It's been a while. Got this idea from "If I Die Young" By The Band Perry. The idea wouldn't let my brain go so I used it to blow off steam. I hope everyone has been well.